Sounding off!

I am very disappointed and quite angry right now, so am sounding off on my own little page, because no one else reads it .......

I am struggling big time today with the two little people that live here .. yes my two darling children.  How could I have produced such thoughtless and rude people I don't know, but I have had a gut full of rudeless, eye rolling and answering back today! I now feel very frustrated and wonder where I have gone wrong.  I have basic rules and responsibilities for them both, and if those are broken then I will say something, and if I have to keep repeating myself, then I start to get niggled.  I am quite patient, but there reaches a point when I feel like I am talking to myself .  Then it feels that everything is going to pot, I feel frustrated and annoyed, and Mum goes off on one! I guess I need to be more patient, but I am tired, fed up of repeating myself and feel that I am  not being listened to.  My children are usually very respectful and say sorry, but just recently I can see a shift to more teenage rebellion behaviour, and I don't like it!  It feels as though they are constantly pushing the boundaries and seeing what they can get away with, which is why I seem to be constantly on their backs.  I spoke to both of them individually this afternoon and just got rudeness back.  I am sure, knowing them, they will think about it and hopefully apologise later on this evening.  I hate having to be upset before they realise that they have behaved wrongly. We usually have a good relationship, but I feel this is being eroded by their rudeness and lack of respect.  I want to re-address the balance and get it right.  It's such a difficult job and it's also something I always have to do alone as I get very little back up.  It's exhausting, soul destroying and upsetting.   I think I need a large glass of wine and some tlc!

My boss put me in a very difficult situation today at work (although I didn't rise to it) which is making me feel very uneasy and it is unsettling the team.

And I seem to have wiped all the music off my computer .......

Not a happy bunny today.

Roll on the weekend I say.

Now where's that bottle of wine ........................

Bring Me Sunshine

Brings back memories of watching tv with my dad as a youngster .. can't beat Morecambe and Wise!

NoCo Rhythmic Rhapsody

In a previous job at Hampshire Dance, part of my role was looking after our two youth dance companies - NoCo (above) and Hampshire Youth Dance Company. This video shows NoCo performing Rhythmic Rhapsody at Youth Dance England in London. NoCo are a bunch of young people from 13-21 who auditioned each year for a much sought after place in one of these companies... I absolutely loved going to the auditions, looking after them and sometimes accompanying them to performances. Happy times

Aeroplane - Nick Harper (Love is Music) - for Dancin Fool :-) xxx

I can see you!!!! For you Dancin Fool and Mr Dancin Fool of course - see you soon xxx

Back to work feeling

Well it's back to work for me this week and I can't say it is filling me with excitement!  So far it has not been too bad as yesterday our new team leader started and wanted to talk to us (about everything under the sun apart from work really), and in the afternoon wanted a  team outing to Hilliers Arboretum in Hampshire. All very nice, but I was over two hours late home.  Today we had a whole service training day, again out of the office in another part of Hampshire - a good 60 or 70 mile round trip.   Which meant making special arrangements for my children to get to school and back.  Normal day tomorrow and Thursday then another team day on Friday all day.

Not sure if it is just going back to work but all my enthusiasm for so many things has just waned. It is difficult to get back into the swing of things, worrying about my daughter, not wanting to be separated from her and work is the last thing on my mind!  Just want to hibernate and shut the world out at the moment and wake up in the spring.