Say what's on your mind!

I have always felt that I am never able to express things as I would like to; I think it is a deep rooted fear of getting it wrong, not having the confidence to express things freely, or just the ability to say the wrong thing at the wrong time! I've always wanted to be able to express myself better, or say how I feel about something.  I always felt as a child I was talked over and not encouraged to express myself, and that children were "seen and not heard". Having said that, I did have a very happy childhood, but there are certain things that I now know were not good for one's self confidence. Therefore, my siblings and I now all suffer from a degree of lack of self confidence. I guess you could read every self awareness book under the sun and take on board everything that is suggested, but do you ever truly get out of that cycle? I am about to read a book I was given through my wonderfully supportive DRW group called "Emotional Confidence". I am hoping it will help get me out of that cycle. The thing I have about confidence is that, I worry if I become more confident, I won't have that empathy and understanding for humankind, I will become too stong and not be me any more. I like who I am, I know that I am kind and loving and understanding and quite a gentle person, and I would hate to lose that. Sometimes confidence can mean to me aggressiveness, which I loathe. Also to me, I would like to be able to express myself in words, poems, lyrics, writings, but I just struggle with that too. Sophie, my daughter, just said to me that I should write a book, which got me thinking, I really need to write more about what's on my mind and maybe that would help too. I need to adjust the balance a bit I think; I have grown such a lot in the last year, and now don't have to worry about a life walking on eggshells. However, it is a difficult thing to climb out of, and I would like to be able to express myself, to say what's bothering me or how I am feeling about something. I just need the confidence.